A year into our marriage, my wife and I moved to a new community. We had been a part of a wonderful church in our hometown, but we needed to find a new church home.
Where to go?
For months, we visited church after church after church.
We could never agree.
I’d like one. She didn’t like it.
She’d like one. I didn’t like it.
We experienced months of this stagnation.
We weighed every aspect we could:
- Biblically sound preaching
- Music
- Opportunities to be involved
- Groups for young married couples
- Donuts
All of these are important.
But do you know what kept popping up on our critique list?
“They didn’t even say hello.”
We visited several churches where people failed to greet us. At all.
We were fresh, new faces, and no one engaged us.
One Sunday, we were sitting in the pew and it came time for the welcome, the point when the pastor tells the congregation to extend the right hand of fellowship to those around you. A lady in front of us turned around and said “Hey!”
We were so excited! Then we realized she was talking to her friend in the pew behind us. She reached right between us to shake her friend’s hand.
The preacher was great. The music was great. We never went back.
The church we ended up joining was one that was biblically sound — but it was also pleasant and welcoming when we visited.
This means that you consistently need an army of smiling people on the front lines, with outstretched hands, who are ready to meet, greet and extend that all-important, yet simple, hello.
That little greeting means more than you might think.
J and I had a similar experience looking for a church. When we visited we would always ask ourselves “Could we invite a ‘nonbeliever’ and know they would feel welcome even if we were t there. Many of them were a no.
I agree. It opened our eyes to how uncomfortable it is to be the newcomer. Thank you.